Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Graduation, Oprah, Darius Rucker.. I think they all suck now...

My oldest baby graduates in about a month and I'm sucking at this. In fact, anyone who reminds me of this in any shape, form or fashion sucks too.

I TIVO Oprah everyday. I might not always watch it because it might not be something I'm really interested in but for the most part I check it out everyday and watch most days.

I almost didn't watch today. It was all Country singers. I'm not a fan. I don't dis-like Country music or it's performers, it's just not my preference. Though I do love some Travis Tritt and Toby Keith (I like the IN YOUR FACE kinda stuff... with attitude!) Anyway, it said Darius Rucker was going to be on today so I had to watch that. I had heard he "switched sides" but hadn't heard any of it yet. Those of us more prone to Rock will only know, or refer to Darius Rucker as Hootie. Let's just say watching this show was stupid. Okay, wait, when they talked to Kenny Chesney he talked about my man (duh.. Bruce) so that was cool. Onward....

What a boo-hoo'ing baby I turned out to be! Now, before Darius Rucker (Hootie) sang Carrie Underwood sang. She sang some song about a woman who's husband was killed at war. I'll give it to her it was a good song and it was even a little bit rocking. On to Darius Rucker. "It won't be like this for long". Wow.. Darius, you suck. Hard. I can never ever ever listen to that song again. At least not until AFTER Ashton graduates. No, probably never. (I'll go find the lyrics and post them at the end of this blog)

I know every parent at some point thinks, "I can't wait till he/she moves out, they're on their own etc etc". This is also generally thought of when you're also thinking of ways of ripping their vocal chords out, gluing their eyeballs into a non-rolling position or taking the bedroom door completely off the hinges before it can get slammed even one more time!

However, I have NEVER ever said that. Ever. What is wrong with me!?? It's not like I'm blessed with precious little angels who've never done wrong! (Yes, I'm blessed, but angels.. no.) Believe me, I've been through it. I just have never wanted them to go anywhere. I don't want Ashton to be almost 19, I don't want her to Graduate, I don't want her to start College, I don't want her to move out, I don't want her to do any of that!! (Insert mental image of me stomping my foot).

I just think kids are too young when they graduate. They should have to go to High School till they're 20. What if I didn't do a good enough job?? OH MY GOSH!!! This is my daughter who can't even order for herself in restaurants.

What if I don't know where she is, or if she doesn't get home by 12:30 (her curfew while living in my house) or if she ate, or what if I hear sires and she doesn't answer, what if I don't what she's wearing so that I have the ability to tell the police exactly what clothing she had on the last time I saw her (Yes, I'm actually serious about this.. I'm anal about knowing what they're wearing for this sole purpose). I can't go to sleep till the girls are safe and sound in the house, the alarm is set, Max is ready to eat whoever may come knocking, and Smith and Wesson are laying soundly on my nightstand. HOW AM I EVER GOING TO SLEEP AGAIN?!?! I won't.

Some might say I'm having a hard time letting go.

I'm never going to survive Graduation day. I'll be that crazy mom running down to the field-house floor screaming, "my baby, my baby, mommy loves you". Then passing out, being rushed to the Psych ward via ambulance. That'll be me. Who am I kidding!? Her open house is the day before and I won't even make it through that to actually get to Graduation day!

I don't like this, I don't have to like this, I won't like this. (insert stomping of the foot again)

This sucks.

Peaceout Girlscout


Monday, April 6, 2009

Things no one tells you about being a mom

So I was going to wait and post this tomorrow but turns out I have a bit more free time tonight so here goes!


1. You will not instantly know which cry stands for what. Oh you learn quick enough but it's not instant.

2. You will never pee by yourself again. If by chance you do get in there and get the door shut before the "little person" can come in.. you WILL see little fingers under the door and hear, "mommy.. whatcha doing??". I haven't peed alone in almost 19 years. True Story.

3. You have to take care of these little people no matter what you feel like, how tired you are, or no matter if you have a 105 degree temp and you're throwing up your toes. They don't care.

4. They will break your heart. One way or another they will, and they will do this repeatedly.

5. You will never become a master. By the time you figure out the perfect bottle schedule, they're ready for sippy cups, perfect diaper changing in 6.8 seconds or less, it's time to potty train, figure out a way to soothe their colicky selves, they outgrow it. You'll never have the upper hand.

6. You can't kill other people's mean kids. No matter how awful they are to your child, it's still against the law. I still think there should be one day a year, but no matter, Mr. Government doesn't agree. Now, if he was Mrs. Government and had children it'd be a whole other story!

7. They will someday tell you that they hate you. On an up note usually you're so pissed off that it doesn't really hurt you when they say that! lol

8. They will tell their pre-school, and Kindergarten teachers every single thing you say or do and god forbid you give them a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for supper one night that will be the first words out of their mouths to their teacher. Guaranteed.

9. They will get sick and it will hurt your heart like nothing else.

10. They will get their hearts broken and just as it is illegal to kill other peoples children, it's also illegal to kill teenage boys. Though I do think Mr. Government should re-evaluate this law.

11. They will grow up and leave you. This hurts the most by far.

12. They will love you forever.

13. They will make every single sappy song you hear on the radio bring you to tears. Examples: "I hope you Dance" ; "My wish"; "Butterfly kisses" The list goes on and on.

14. They will be your legacy, which is pretty dang cool.

15. They might well be the only thing in which you own outright!

There are a great many more secrets but alas, I'm afraid if I divulge too much the "Mothers" of the world will hunt me down and delete my blog all together. I think their theory is if they must experience all of this first hand, then so must you.

Peaceout Girlscout

Just their mom

It's been a long time since I've blogged. A lot of things have happened. My parents house burnt to the ground on Jan 28th during the severe ice storm in Kentucky, and other things. Life gets complicated. I'm not going to elaborate on any of the fire things; frankly they're almost too painful to continue to rehash anyway.

The point of this blog is to ask you, Do you have any idea why my blog title, and the literal blog title is Just Their Mom? Well, I'll answer that for you!

When I became a mother I lost me. Willingly, and I knew it was going to happen I just didn't know the severity of it. You take your newborn to the Pediatrician for the first time and he says, "Hi, you must be Ashton's mom." Well, it's all down hill from there. Add in another child and then it become, "Hi, you must be Ashton and Brenna's mom."

As my children got older it became more increasingly clear that I was, in face, just their mom. I no longer had my time, I no longer had certain friends. You know, the ones who weren't someones mom. I no longer had shower/bath time. No one tells you all the things that you won't have because you're "Just Their Mom".

Shaved legs? Forget about it. If you can get in and out of a shower with at least some degree of soap hitting your body before your baby starts to scream for you then "YOU GO GIRL!!!" If you manage to pee by yourself then "YOU GO GIRL" If you actually get makeup put on your face then "YOU GO GIRL". Trust me.. you won't be able to do much!

It sucks even worse if you quickly, albeit not of your own choice, become a single mom with a newborn baby, as did I. I went to school full time, worked three jobs, and spent every single second I could with Ashton. Ohhh I cherished my time, but do not for a minute think it was all peaches and cream. I can honestly say there was only one time that I lost it. She was about 6 months old, we lived next door to my mom and dad, I had gone to school that day from 7:30 am to 2:30 pm, worked at Discount Video from 3:00 to 6:00 then Lourdes from 6:30 to 11:00. I then had to go home, study, spend time with her etc. She cried from midnight to 3 am. I was holding a bottle while she was laying in her crib begging her to take it. I was crying, she was crying. I turned around and threw the bottle with all my might out of her room, it exploded hitting the wall and formula going everywhere. I then picked her up took her over to mom and dad in the middle of the night, me bawling, her bawling. I laugh when I picture the look on my dad's face as he sat up in his bed in the middle of the night like," What the hell is going on?!!" I told my mom, "Okay, I can't do this, you can have her, I'll sign over custody" My mom took Ashton for about three seconds and she was sound asleep. I said,"okay, give her back I'm taking her home." My mom asked me to let her stay there and for me to actually get some sleep but I did take her home! lol I was 20. Going through a divorce and my ex-best friend was having a baby with my husband. Interesting time in my life lol

Move forward to having Brenna. I was happily married, Brad was an excellent father to Ashton and he was amazing with Brenna. He got up made her bottles, changed her, then gave her to me to feed etc. Brad would NEVER say a bad word about anyone. He's quiet, laid back etc. I, of course am none of those things lol Life was so peachy when Brenna was a newborn. I remember one night she was a couple of weeks old and she was laying on my pillow in the middle of the night and I was feeding her and ooh'ing and aah'ing over her and I asked him, "Do you think you'd want to have another baby, possibly a boy?" He said, "No." I kept asking, "Why?" "Are you sure?", "Well, why wouldn't you?" I, of course, harassed the man for an hour about this till he finely said, "Lisa, I'll never say this again, but I don't think I can go through 9 more months of that". I literally laughed my head off! I really didn't think I was that bad!! lol Apparently I was!

In all actuality I truly never had another hankering for another baby. So it all worked out! lol

When Ashton started pre-school and t-ball and all of those things it became abundantly clear to me that I was in fact, "Just their mom".

Just today, a woman came into the office and this is how the conversation went, "Ohh Hi! Aren't you Brenna's mom??" I said, "Ohhh yeah, you're Mackenzie's mom aren't you?" That hit me like a ton of bricks! lol It's so true.. I am just their mom!

Granted over the years that has changed and the me that I had to become is a lot less needed and in a lot less demand. Now I'm finding that I'm having to become Lisa and Just their mom.

For some reason when they can start to prepare all of their meals (DO NOT get me wrong, I still get a phone call everyday at 5:00 pm from my almost 19 yr old saying, "Mom, What's for dinner?") and they become a lot more self-sufficient (which I apparently am responsible for) then you're just not as needed. It's sad, refreshing, horrifying, exhilarating, terrifying, it's truth.

My marching band sweatshirt that I've worn , very proudly, for the past four years says on the back, "Ashton's mom". My friend Jeanette has one that says, "Caitlin's mom". I had those made because that's who we are. I'm just not so sure if that's all I am anymore.

Tomorrow I plan on blogging and exposing all of the "Silent truths" that other mother's , including your own do not tell. Stay tuned I'm not sure how long all the "mothers" out in cyber land will allow our secrets to be exposed on the world wide web!

If I don't return to post those, that means they got to me. Send help.

Peaceout Girlscout!